New Definitions to old Words...

Dictionary - It is a thing similar to google search with "define:X" tag, and it takes more time to give the same result with manual intervention!

Encyclopedia - It is a something similar to Wikipedia

Due credits to original creator.

Abbreviations

Sometimes abbreviations can get you into trouble. J
e.g.: I will try and KISS as much as possible. (KISS: Keep it Short and Simple)

Any such abbr. that you might have used that got you in trouble! Your comments..

Thought for the day

Being 'star(*)' performer is not enough. You cannot recognize the same star next night in the sky. Like I say, Be a Moon performer!

Please do not forward those e-mails

http://info.org.il/irrelevant/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf

Thought for the Day

Sleep is the only pleasant thing that remains forever in life and after it! ~Aditya J

The Euro English

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be
the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas!

A question that forces you to think

Scenario: A lady comes to a shopkeeper to purchase a pen. After looking over many options, she decides to go with a pen which costs Rs.80/-. She gives a Rs100/- note to the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper doesn’t have Rs20/- change and hence approaches another shopkeeper with the Rs.100/- note and gets lower denominations of the same value and returns to his shop. He gives the lady customer her balance amount of Rs.20/- and she leaves the shop. A short while after she leaves, the other shopkeeper approaches him complaining that the Rs.100/- note he gave him was fake. After an argument, the shopkeeper finally takes back that Rs. 100/- fake note and returns the same amount of money to the other shopkeeper.

Question: Calculate the loss of the shopkeeper who sold the pen?

How does a mouse work?

How does the small arrow on your computer monitor work when we move the mouse?

Haven't you ever wondered how it works?

Now, through the miracle of high technology, we can see how it is done.

With the aid of a screen-magnifying lens, the mechanism becomes apparent.

Click on the link below and you will find out.

The image may take a minute or two to download and when it appears,
slowly move your mouse over the light-gray circle,
and you will see how the magic works.

http://www.1-click.jp

A tribute to Software Engineers...

Picked up from mail -

Apne Project ke bojh tale daba jaa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

zindagi se hara hua hai,
par "Bugs" se haar nahi manata,
Apne application ki ek ek line ise rati hui hai,
par aaj kaun se rang ke moje pehne hain , ye nahi janata,
din par din ek excel file banata ja raha hai
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

das hazaar line ke code main error dhoond lete hain lekin,
majboor dost ki ankhon ki nami dikhayi nahi deti,
pc pe hazaar windows khuli hain,
par dil ki khidki pe koi dastak sunayi nahi deti,
satuday-sunday nahata nahi, week days ko naha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

Coding karte karte pata hi nahi chala,
bugs ki priority kab maa-baap se high ho gayi,
kitabon main gulab rakhne wala , cigerette ke dhuyen main kho gaya,
dil ki zameen se armaanon ki vidayi ho gayi,
weekends pe daroo peke jo jashna mana raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

maze lena ho iske to pooch lo,
"Salary Increment" ki party kab dila rahe ho,
hansi udana ho to pooch lo,
"Onsite" kab ja rahe ho?
wo dekho onsite se laute team-mate ki chocolates kha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

kharche badh rahe hain,
baal kam ho rahe hain,
KRA ki date ati nahi,
Income Tax ke sitam ho rahe hain,
lo phir se bus choot gayi, Auto se aa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

Pizza gale se nahi utarta,
to "Coke" ke sahare nigal liya jata hai,
office ki "Thali" dekh munh hai bigadta,
maa ke hath ka wo khana baar roz yaad ata hai,
"Sprout bhel" bani hai phir bhi, free "Evening Snacks" kha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

aapne ab tak li hongi bahut si chutikiya,
Software engg. ke jivan ka sach batati ye akhri kuch panktiyan,
hazaron ki tankhwah wala, company ki karodon ki jeb bharta hai,
software engg. wahi ban sakta hai, jo lohe ka jigar rakhta hai,
hum log jee jee ke marte hain , zindagi hai kuch aisi,
ek fauj ki naukri, doosri software engg. ki , dono ek jaisi,
is kavita ka har shabd mere dil ki gehrayi se aa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai.

:)

I used to believe....

Humans have a great 'technology' within themselves to understand somethings more than what is told to them and eventually start believing it!!

Crazy, is it? Well that's where words like rumours come from! :)

You might have had some believes in your childhood days, more often wrong than right!

Well here comes out one from my side - I used to believe...
"... that the movies were for real, The actors really got married and that the villans really were shot dead." :) Yes, how in the hell these villans were alive in the next movie I saw? Those actors were really bad, marriage was joke to them! Had a new marriage in almost every movie!! :)

This is not yet the time to roll out laughing, go visit this site. It's a directory of such believes from all over the places. Now you have good place to hangout when you are feeling low.

Have fun reading what others believe! :)

Beautiful - the dress or the person?

Boy - Hi there! (Smiles)
Girl - Hello! (Smiles)

Boy - You are looking beautiful today! (Genuine Comment)
Girl - What do you mean? (Angry)
Boy - No really, I meant every single word I said...
Girl - So you mean to say I don't look beautiful always. It's just today that I look beautiful to you???
Boy - No, I did not mean to say that! (Confused & Boxed out).. Er.. Ok I meant that, that you are looking beautiful in this dress!
Girl - What?? (Red)
Boy - (Not Again!! God Save me)
Girl - So now you mean that only this dress in my wardrobe makes me looks beautiful and what about the rest???
Boy - (Praying that this time he hits it right) No No, not at all. I didn't meant that either. Ok, I mean to say The dress is looking beautiful on you!
Girl - Hmm.. Thanks! (Smiles)
Boy - (Grin's)

So, pick your words carefully when talking.

Disclaimer - The characters shown/depicted in this play are completely ficticious and bear no relationship to anyone living or dead. :)

Work can be Fun!!

If you want and make it to be!! Yes, I am not trying to make a humourous statement out here ( You bet I'm! :) )

Let me not start giving you gyan on how to manage your work etc. etc... and straight away get to the point. Here is an example of what I mean -

You are a developer and one of the most boring task could be to support your work with good commenting! I have to prepare a sample application for a web control I have created, now every line I write must accompany with some comment, right! I am trying to show a demo of a Message Box control I had created (Yes, I have :) ) Now just to bring up the box I created a scenario for divide by zero exception and show the same in "My Message Box" (Good Idea!) But now that I am not using a good coding practice to bluntly generate the exception, I must comment it. How do I go about it:

"The following code is not advisable in a real-time scenario. This has potential performance implications, blah blah blah.."

Nah! boring.. Let me make it KISS (Keep It Short Stupid! and what where you thinking ;))

"Disclaimer: Do not try the following four LOCs at home!"

Yes, doesn't this convey what it should. It brings a smile on your face while writing it, and surely would bring a smile to the face of the developer who is trying to use your control and is bored with long steps and comments to start with.

So, you saw the message conveyed what is should have and bought smiles to many faces. However, remember this should not always be the case. Sometimes you need to be serious afterall :| (Must you? :P). This can be implemented while writing documentations or mails, articles as well, use smileys at right point of time and place to bring smiles to readers' face and not with the intentions to mock you reader.

I like to use it more often than not, and surely remember the last point while doing it!

Normal goes Fast!!!

Wondering what the title means! Read on...

Normally my group goes in for lunch @ 1pm. Since today was Monday, the first counter from back entrance contained 'Fast' Food ( Not the 'Fast' as in Junk, but the food for fasting :) ). When we were there one of the vegetable bowl was empty!! (the other one was obiviously not edible as usual) Lunch time here starts @ 12pm and lasts till 2.30pm.

Yes you thinking it right, "So early... WTH!!"

More astonishingly, the section for 'Fast' food had its each and every bowl filled up till brim!! [Reason, as we saw it to be, being "Sabka Bandhu", as we call the person was fasting today. :) ]

And did you note the irony - On one hand Fasting food was available in abundance and on other Non-Fasting had it's counter closed!
And till date I was under impression Fasting meant "Not to Eat!!". I really wonder who was fasting!!

Enjoy Eating!! :)

Thought for the day

The nice thing about standards is there are so many to choose from!

Thought for the day

"Being positive is in my blood! I'm B +ve" ~Aditya :)

Spiderman in Bhojpuri!!

:) Yes, I know it's shocking!
For those who do not not what Bhojpuri is visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhojpuri_language

Well, I was watching this weekend and suddenly came up this ad, it said, ofcourse, "Now watch Spiderman 3 in Bhojpuri and Tamil" and then started of with the Bhojpuri Trailers!

And there's one dialog where Spiderman's(Tobey Maguire) Gal (Kirsten Dunst) says to him "I'm worried about you!" and guess what translate it to Bhojpuri - "Humka tohar Phikarwa" was the dialog she said. Though the movie is really bad rated according to me(2/5), it would be a real fun to watch the same again in Bhojpuri! :) ( Not Tamil, I would'nt understand it a bit ;) )

Google Devata Ki Arati!

This is a prayer in Hindi describing Google as God for Developers!! Enjoy :)

Om Jai Google Hare !!
Swami Om Jai Google hare
Programmers ke sankat, Developers ke Sankat,
Shan main door kare!!
Om Jai Google Hare !!

Jo Dhyawe results pawe,
dukh bin se man ka, Swami dukh bin se man ka,
Assignment ki sampatti le aawe, Assignment ki sampatti le aawe
kasht mite work ka,
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Tum puran search engine
Tum hi internet yaami, Swami Tum hi internet yaami
Par karo hamari MS, Par karo hamari MS,
Tum internet ke swami,
Swami Om Jai Google hare.

Tum information ke saagar,
Tum palan karta, swami Tum palan karta,
Main moorakh agyaani, Main Searcher tum Server-ami
Saara work tum se karta !!
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Din bandhu dukh harta,
tum rakshak mere, Swami tum thakur mere,
Apni capabilities dikhaao, sare reasearch karoa
Site par khada mein tere,

Swami Om Jai Google hare!!
Google devta ki aarti jo koi programmer gaawe,
Swami jo koi bhi programmer gaawe,
Kehet malikanand swami, bhanat hari har swami,
Manwaanchhit solution paawe.

Not My Job Award

Fantabulous!! :)
P.S. - Received it from my Boss

Life Software Package

The Logo :)

One of my favourite, picked up from a mail

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall'
doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!
Thanks,
"A Troubled User"

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
Support) .

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook
1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs.
Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support ...

Loving might be a mistake.......!!
But its worth doing !!!